I am really struggling today.
By that, I mean that the depression that I keep locked securely in the cabinet has escaped today and is wielding a baseball bat and beating me black and blue.
I find myself here because someone I love told me today that he hates animals because of me. Then he said (regarding my advocacy and activism) “. . . And you have nothing to show for it! ” you know, he may as well just have said that he hates me. My animal advocacy is an integral part of who I am as a person.
I have nothing to show for it? Lives saved, laws changed, sick and injured animals helped, educating others, reuniting lost pets with their families is “nothing?” Five books written is “nothing?”
I know those things mean nothing to that person, who says he hates animals now. I don’t have a big house, or a fancy car. I don’t have any money that isn’t tied up in surviving. I don’t have a bunch of high tech equipment like the newest phone or the best TV. I don’t have jewelry or fancy clothing. But those are the things of value to him, not to me. And what does it say about him, that he hates animals because I love them and care about them?
I feel pity for people like him. People who have never, and will never, know the pure joy of being loved unconditionally by another being, because they are not open to loving an animal. Humans aren’t capable of giving the holy love that animals give. We may aspire to it, but as a species, we are too flawed to deliver. Too easily angered and hurt. Too prone to holding grudges and blaming others. Too distracted by our own thoughts and fears and jealousy.
What do I have to show for my advocacy and activism? Courage. Tenacity. Empathy. Knowledge. Creativity. Inspiration.
The things I value most.