My Dogs Are Not Perfect.

My dogs are not perfect. They are the obedience class rejects that other dog owners mock in class. Or, at least they would be, if they had ever gone to obedience class, which they haven’t.  One of their most egregious traits is their barking. There are five of them, and they are Barkers.

They bark at all the usual stuff: wild animals in the yard; strangers that walk too close to the car; things that go bump in the night; they bark if they need to go out. But they also bark about all that other stuff.


Maria barks whenever I get on the phone. What better time to instigate play than when mom is otherwise engaged, holding that old-fashioned plastic receiver to her ear with a cord that only reaches so far; which is not far enough to grab her?


Taco barks at all the things that the rest of us can’t hear, because her huge Yoda-style ears sit on her head like giant satellite dishes. She’ll be the one to alert us to an alien invasion, because she’ll hear the radio signals while the ships are still circling Mars.


Lammy-Lamb barks because at fourteen, the couch looks higher than it did last year, and she’s not entirely confident that she can make the jump, so how about a little help please? And she barks because Waldo is giving her the evil eye and she is afraid to walk past him…so if you wouldn’t mind escorting me?


Waldo is not too small to jump on the bed, in fact, he is as big as me. But he stands next to the bed and barks because he needs me to hold the covers up so he can climb underneath and be covered ‘just so’, in order to hog the bed properly all night.

And Rocket-Boy barks anytime we are trying to nap to let us know that he is on guard duty and that we are safe under his watch; which


he states for us at fifteen minute intervals as if he is calling out “fifteen minutes and all is still well.”  He also barks whenever he comes home from anywhere – which he does with his lips carefully aimed directly  into one of Taco’s satellite ears, because…well, I’m not really sure why he does that…but it seems important.

No. My dogs are not perfect. But neither are my family or friends, and neither am I. They’re not perfect, but they’re perfect for me.

About yelodoggie

Ariel C. Wulff is an author, artist and animal advocate. They have been involved in pet rescue for over twenty-five years. They have written two books about their true-life adventures living with an ever-changing house full of pets: Born Without a Tail, and Circling the Waggins, and a guide to animal advocacy using the Internet as a tool: How to Change the World in 30 Seconds". Wulff also wrote a pet column and book review column for the Examiner, and was a contributing editor for They attribute their love of animals to having been raised by Wulffs.
This entry was posted in Random Woofs and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to My Dogs Are Not Perfect.

  1. What an adorable post! I loved it and shared it on Facebook. 🙂


  2. William A Thorman, Jr says:

    What music to my ears…hahaha… I have four and they bark just for the joy of it.. When I turn to type on the keyboard or pick up a newspaper to read, or to answer the phone..all bets are down.. Daddy isn’t doing anything special so why don’t we have a chat fest? Yep, just as a neat desk is the sign of a sick mind,, a quiet home is the sign of a doggie deprived abode… I feel sorry for those poor souls who dwell therein…


  3. Sam Davis says:

    You have a unique sense of dog that makes me smile.


  4. How delightful and grounded in truth…
    Thanks for this


  5. nancy says:

    Wow, you gotta lot of love going around your house! Adorable dogs, cousin. Mine is perfect because he doesn’t need another dog to be entertained. You got it, he is still chasing his shadow. Now he leaps in the air and is amazed that the other dog is jumping with him! Pretty funny stuff. For the past few weeks, he hasn’t decided to mark any more spots on the floor. Phew. And, besides Shadow, he now has a thing for Sarge, Anna’s stuffed German Shepherd. If you walk into the room unexpectedly, you never know just what Cooper and Sarge might be doing.
    Great post, thanks for the smile!


What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s